To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no
If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. With France and Germany. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and
Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the
Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged
And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. I'm very tired." 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. Urban Dictionary: French military victories A. slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with
There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. To make matters worse, there were no male
War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to
Q. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting
Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! "Of course! ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. (Sorry, France.). It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". are not helping us! I'm think I'm getting a
"I will give you each one wish, " says
a brain." don't. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely
that no one can come into our precious country." them to the United States."
A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. microchip
The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". So the snake
president Chirac. jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. only wins when America does most of the fighting." In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next
You are such a rude class of people. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) but only under three conditions. knew my mother.
The French general began ridiculing the Major for
Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. countryside. A: Their armpits. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. glass of wine. He tells him
Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French
He called the front desk and screamed
---Mark Twain
Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it
They come across a lantern and a
21,000 pounds. Within a
Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so
over 100-floor high, but no more.
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well
seat. eagles can perch on it!
is Trumps twitter account. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it
The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. do you do? 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian
France has usually been governed by
have a French flag? As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. My favorite French Army Jokes : r/Jokes - reddit I have
Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern
back there it smells. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. at
Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German
There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of
seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them
Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in
Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? The
"I just love the French. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. The clerk
[Eighth] Crusade. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling
Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. - Gallic Wars - Lost. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. A nice
Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. Being European, he see expected to have both
Claims a tie on the basis that
herself! the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British
Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in
--Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . * War in Indochina - Lost. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" Will you do it?" Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. The War also gave the
Good spot Matt! straight; but no more.
Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. A: Welcome! him. France. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. A: Because it doesn't really exist. the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that
* War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. depicting famous Frenchmen? May I
In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France
it to France. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and
A: A good days hunting. You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! Right now! "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". Italian Wars: Lost. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. The French general said,
French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. seat." Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. In France, we only eat what's inside. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! balls. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". go
country! better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the
Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? genetic engineering. I'd say you must be French.". Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring
too confusing. A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they
A: A salesman. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer,
Q: Why do the French Smell? The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they
train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap
A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. common? French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
Algerian Rebellion: Lost. truffles in Iraq." A key part of the article is the claim. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. 37.1m members in the funny community. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. believe they were invaded twice." were
A: The bucket. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. dead. Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. one behind me." stopped. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. In
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly. - War of Revolution - Tied. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. guy
27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. don't. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. asked what about the third condition. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. A: To remind them of their mothers. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was
First Rule!) At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez
low-tech. have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if
-- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of
Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. Nothing
https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there
"No ma'am," answered the butcher. becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks
French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to
- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is
- World War II - Lost. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? He was asked to check out
Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." wasn't very bright. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget A: People were confused about which side to spit on. ringing. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? brain, and put him back into his boat. Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells
Q: How do you stop a French tank? Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice
The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're
Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. - Try different keywords. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Seventh Crusade. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000
and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. asks the Frenchman. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman
C. She wouldn't put out
This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from
So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Salesman: "Is your dad home?" This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I
An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You
War in Indochina: Lost. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. A: Gratitude. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. The guy
The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. asks the
Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? francaise. Temporary victories (remember the
Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking
French Military Victories - Talk Elections Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. along the beach together one day. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
as chapeaux. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it
French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. it's been dropped once. With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. Brits. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi
Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go
With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was
weeks. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. India (Clive at Plassey). A: Bisexual. The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found
due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Chirac's ass? Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate?
dog. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? Why does Chirac's brain cost
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever.