Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. I grew up being complimented for my looks . ". My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. . An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. 1. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Thank you so much for this great compliment. Required fields are marked *. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Youll feel mad and resentful. Language gets corrupted. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Thanks for making us proud. 10. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. 2. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. In what context. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. 5. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. 12. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. . A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). What a surprise! This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. It is arrogant. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. 14. Your email address will not be published. 9. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . . Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. She says "Good boy. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. Thank you all, too. But this will be seen as an overreaction. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. #8: They say you need to change. I teach high school. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. implying a mentor relationship. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. Thank you so much. JavaScript is disabled. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. 6. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, We had a really nice time. However what messages might our children actually hear? Talents Compliments. 10. "You make me so mad.". You would have to know the whole story. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Lost Index. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Try The Behaviour Window. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. You look so much better!". It remains condescending and arrogant. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. 2. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. 1. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. 4 . Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. 10. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. Its powerful. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them.
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